I'm a 19-year-old guy who's been navigating life without ever knowing my father. I had to grow up fast, taking on responsibilities that kept me from experiencing a true childhood. When I was 14, I did a DNA test hoping to find out who my dad was, based on a lead from my aunt. I changed a lot after that—it boosted my confidence and social life—only to discover two years later that my aunt had lied and it wasn't him at all. My mom knew, but didn't tell me. That moment crushed me, and even though I seem okay on the outside, the pain has stuck with me for four years. How do I let go of this hurt and move forward?
4 Answers
Acceptance is key here. You’ve had to grow up without a father figure, and that’s tough. But it’s important to remember that you’re in control of who you want to be. Think about what kind of man you want to emulate, and go from there. It can be tough, but acknowledging your feelings and seeking help when needed is a strong move. You’ve got this!
Healing might not mean completely getting over it; it's more about learning to live with it. Start small by being kind to yourself and validate your feelings. Losing out on a father figure is rough, and you deserve to feel whatever you're feeling about it. Acceptance and self-love will go a long way.
Absolutely! It’s all about acknowledging your journey and moving forward with compassion.
First off, I really recommend seeking professional therapy. Just like you’d see a doctor for a physical injury, talking to a therapist can help heal emotional wounds. Also, try to find some close friends or even a father figure-type person to look up to. They won't replace your dad, but having someone positive in your life can help.
You should focus on becoming the man you want to be. You're at an age where being a role model for someone else could be really rewarding! Maybe consider volunteering as a mentor to a younger guy who's gone through something similar. It can help break that cycle and give you a sense of purpose.
Exactly! It takes time and self-reflection. Just remember that it's okay to feel hurt—it's a part of the healing process.