I'm a single parent after my husband passed away when my children were young. My son is now 11 and is starting to feel the weight of being the only boy at home. He doesn't remember his dad, as he was only 2 when he passed, and while he gets along with his 8-year-old sister, he finds her annoying at times. He loves sports and video games, and while there are some male influences in his life, he lacks daily male energy at home. I'm looking for advice from men who were raised by single moms, particularly those who understand what this age can be like and how I can help my son navigate his feelings. I want to maintain our close bond and open communication, and he also sees a therapist for emotional regulation. I've considered activities like Boy Scouts and keeping him engaged in sports, but I'd love more insights on specific ways to support him both now and as he grows up.
5 Answers
Getting into martial arts was a huge help for me growing up without strong male figures. Besides teaching self-defense, it instilled discipline and offered a competitive, supportive environment led by male instructors. Plus, it really connects you with other boys who might be going through similar feelings; so it's a win-win.
I did a mix of martial arts in school and it really shaped my confidence and emotional control. It’s definitely worth considering!
I was raised in a similar situation and found my way by connecting with other boys through sports and outdoor activities. Things like fishing or adventure camps not only build skill but also camaraderie. Finding a Big Brother program could also provide him with an excellent male influence without the pressure of a father figure. It creates a great space for boys to bond and learn from each other.
Thanks for sharing this! I'll look into Big Brothers/Big Sisters—it sounds like a perfect fit for him.
Yeah! My friend had a fantastic experience with that program. It can be a solid support system.
I relate a lot to your son's situation. My mom enrolled me in Boy Scouts when I was about his age, and it was a game-changer. It gave me solid male role models and a chance to bond with other boys. Even if the Boy Scouts have had their issues, many good troops focus on fun learning experiences and personal growth. It’s worth a look!
That sounds fantastic! He plays sports, right? Hopefully, that also gives him some time with male coaches and peers. Just being around other boys makes a big difference.
What issues did you encounter with the Boy Scouts? I’m a bit hesitant due to some past controversies.
It’s super important to have the right male influences around him. Whether it’s family friends or coaches, having positive male types in his life can help him a ton. I boxed a little back in the day, and it taught me discipline and self-control, not just aggression. Finding structured activities with guidance from men is crucial.
I totally agree! Making sure he’s around healthy role models is so vital at that age. It can really steer him in the right direction!
I’m worried too about the influences out there. Helping him navigate that is just as important. It can be tough with everything online.
From my experience being raised by a single mom, having a male role model wasn’t essential, but it helped. My mom found me good mentors through school programs. As much as I was into arts and reading, my confidence grew by being surrounded by supportive peers and teachers. Encouraging him to pursue his interests and opening up dialogue about any challenges helps a lot!
Absolutely! It’s about finding what resonates with him. Just being engaged goes a long way.
I love this approach! I want him to explore and discover his own path while feeling supported.
Haha, great advice! Seriously, martial arts can totally change a kid's life. I remember how much I learned—not just about fighting but about respect and handling emotions too.